19
Aug
10

Mr. H. – Part 4

I had breakfast last Saturday morning with Mr. H.. He spent a full 1 1/2 hours with me. He asked probing questions and frequently interrupted to fill in details from his own experience. While we sat he tapped out a half dozen contacts with their coordinates¬†for me¬†on his Blackberry. He was so kind and generous and genuinely, it seemed, interested. At the conclusion of breakfast he handed me 3 CD’s that I assumed were “homework”. He accepted my band T-shirt graciously in return. We parted with Mr. H. pledging to follow up with several of the contacts.

The most revealing aspect of the meeting had less to do with Mr. H. and more to do with me. It was this overwhelming and distasteful feeling that I was coming across as a ‘victim’ with half my answers to his questions. “Are you going to the Folk Festival?”, he asked. I blurted out that I’d nailed an audition spot but had to back out last minute because my mother-in-law was ill in Montreal. “Have you gotten airplay on CBC radio?”. I explained why I thought I was blacklisted by CBC radio (legitimate reasoning…but still sounding like a victim). “What about the new DAWG FM radio station in Ottawa?”. I sent them a CD and they think it got lost… they suggested that I send another. When I reflected on the meeting, I shuddered to think how I must have come across. The bottom line here is that nobody…nobody can make this happen except me. No excuses. Life is tough.

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